How to Motivate Yourself as a Busy Woman in Your 30s & 40s

The 30s and 40s can be a little...much. You're busy! You have tons of responsibilities, people have expectations of you at work and at home, and there's those nagging health things that are at the back of your mind...they aren't that bad, though. You'll deal with those cholesterol numbers creeping up later.

I mean how are you supposed to address your own needs right now when you have no motivation and ZERO capacity?!

Let me help you with that...

This 3 part series will help you figure out how to motivate yourself, find the time to do what you need to do, and have the self-discipline to follow through.

First, let's talk about how to motivate yourself as a busy woman in your 30s and 40s.

Get clear on WHAT you want and WHY you want it.

You need a clear goal post, right? Otherwise, you're just flailing about not aiming for anywhere which will get you nowhere. Once you know what then you need to know why because this is where motivation comes from. And it can't be because "my mother said I should" or "society expects this of me". HECK THEM. If it's not something YOU want it's going to be a lot harder to achieve and if you happen to actually be successful- it will feel empty.

So, why do you want that health or fitness goal you're going after?

Maybe you're not totally sure how to figure that out. I can help you with that too and it's the meat and potatoes of this post.

How to get clear on your why

Your true why(s) are deeper than what you verbalize at the beginning. You'll say you want to go to the gym to "lose weight" or "get stronger" or some other thing. Great! Why do you want to lose weight or get stronger? The reasons beneath that are the ones that will actually motivate you. Or you'll figure out it's not really that deep and your real goal is something else. You can figure this out by doing the 5 Whys Exercise. It may be a little hard to dig that deep, but if it starts to feel hard, I encourage you to push past it and dig deeper.

Let's walk through an example together:

The 5 Whys Exercise

Say your goal is to go to the gym more consistently.

WHY 1

Why are you trying to go to the gym more consistently?

Because I want to build muscle.

WHY 2

Why do you want to build muscle?

Because it will help me feel stronger.

WHY 3

Why do you want to feel stronger?

Because I want to be able to be self-sufficient and not always have to ask for help.

WHY 4

Why do you want to be self-sufficient and not always ask for help?

Because I want to be able to take care of myself as much as possible and be as helpful to others as possible.

WHY 5

Why is it important for you to be able to help others and take care of yourself?

Because I see how people older than me at work can't do certain things, even my parents, and how they're dependent on others always being there to help them. I want to maintain my independence.

See how it's much deeper than just building muscle? We're talking about your ability to be self-sufficient well into your later years. Maintaining your autonomy as well as your ability to still help others.

You have to dig deep to get clear on the reasons behind why you're trying to achieve your goal.

Once you get clear on these put reminders where you can see them. It could be a sticky note, a picture of someone you care about, a place, etc. These aren't going to 100% keep you on your path at all times by themselves, but they will be integral to your success.

A couple of other things that can help with motivation:

Use the buddy system.

You may not be looking forward to your workout, but you are looking forward to seeing your friend. Find someone to go along with you or at least hold you accountable in some way.

Keep stashed in the back of your mind something you're trying to avoid.

NOTE: this only works if you have positive motivators in place that are strong already! If it's all about avoidance it can be counterintuitive.

I'll use myself as an example on this one. My approach goals (aka what I'm aiming for) are that it's important to me to workout and eat healthy overall because I want to be able to go on rugged hikes with no issues even 30+ years from now. I want to be a good example to my clients, friends, and family. I also feel more confident, capable, and competent when I'm feeling good and healthy. My avoidance goal (aka what I'm trying to stay away from) is that I'm trying to avoid the heart disease and diabetes that runs in my family on both sides. Notice the approach goals outweigh the avoidance goals!

Pair whatever you are trying to do with something you already really enjoy doing

This could be watching your favorite show while doing meal prep.

Maybe it's listening to your favorite podcast when you're at the gym.

And limit that thing you really enjoy doing to when you are doing the thing that you sometimes struggle to do.

REMEMBER: Motivation is only PART of what will make you successful. Sometimes it won't be present and you gotta keep moving.

We'll talk about this more in the rest of the series! Stay tuned!