The Problem with Going too Hard on New Year's Resolutions
- Janna Ross
- Jan 8
- 5 min read
I want to start this out by saying I promise I'm not trying to put your fire out or harsh your mellow. I'm just wanting to present a dose of reality before we get too much further into the new year.
January (and end of December) is a great time to spend in self-reflection pondering what we want for ourselves and what we have to do to get those things. However, this year something shifted for me, and I think I've come to a surprising conclusion: It's also a little too hardcore. Every year we focus on goal setting, new year new me, and "finally getting my shit together". Motivation is high, we have a clear goal and plan, and we are determined to DO THE THING.
Here's the problem with going too hard on new year's resolutions:
We forget that the life we were living before the holidays is pretty much the same life we'll be living after the holidays. And sometimes our goals and plans don't match our real life. Or maybe aren't even in alignment with what we actually want for ourselves.
New Year's goals are so hyped up that we think we want something like 6 pack abs without considering the reality of how long it can take to get them AND the amount of effort it requires to maintain them. That's without even considering body type and genetics yet.
Or because going to the gym a few times over Christmas break felt so easy obviously you'll be able to continue despite regular work hours kicking back in that made it so hard to get to the gym in the first place.
I'm not saying you shouldn't have goals or that it's impossible to achieve them or even that New Year's is way too hyped up (okay maybe that one a little- but just a little). What I'm saying is let's approach this realistically and with intention.
3 questions to ask yourself about your new year's goals:
1 Do I actually want the goal I've set or is there an outside source that influenced it?
Not to say having extrinsic (from outside yourself) motivators is bad, but they aren't as strong and dependable as intrinsic (from within yourself) motivators. There's a higher chance of you going after something you don't actually want if every reason for doing it comes from outside yourself.
Take weight loss for example. Maybe you want to lose weight because your mother says you should and you want her to leave you alone about it. It could be because on socials you see "thin" being pushed at you and you think maybe people will like you more if you're skinny. Those things might motivate you for a while, but in the long run they likely won't be enough. Especially if you don't see an issue with your weight in the first place.
However, if your motivations lie within yourself purely for your own benefit and enjoyment like wanting to be able to play a sport recreationally that you loved back in the day or because you want to prove to yourself that yes YOU CAN succeed and have a sense of pride- that's from within and will carry you much further.
We all have reasons from within ourselves and from outside ourselves to motivate us- it's important that there are truly meaningful ones that come from within.
2 Are the steps to your goal realistic when it comes to your normal schedule, stressors, resources, and support?
If you're sitting at a computer 40 hours a week, commuting 8 hours a week, taking care of your ailing Dad, and have a dog at home does it make sense for you to get to the gym for 1.5 hours Monday through Friday? It may not. 🤷🏻♀️
Keep in mind that if you look at your plan and you realize it's totally not realistic for your daily life that DOES NOT mean you should give up. It simply means you need to change up your plan a bit. As long as you are taking steps forward you are making progress. That could look like 3 gym days instead of 5. That could look like getting up 30 minutes earlier instead of 1 hour to do your morning routine.
Don't NOT make any changes simply because you can't change everything you want to right now. The time will pass. Let's have it pass making small successful steps forward rather than 2 steps forward and 3 steps back because you try to force what simply won't work.
3 What will you do to keep yourself going when motivation fizzles and your willpower is maxed out?
This is the part people tend to skip over when they're flying high on motivation. In the back of their mind they know that at some point motivation will run out- but that's a "future them" problem. What ends up happening is "future them" doesn't have the resources or capacity to keep going then feels like a failure and the cycle continues.
Here are a few ways to help keep yourself going when willpower and motivation run dry:
-Keep your why at top of mind- write it down or have a picture and put it where you can see it.
-Make sure your environment supports you. This means if you're trying to eat healthier keep the cookies out of sight and the fruit on the counter. Or don't even buy the cookies in the first place. Another example would be to have your gym bag packed and ready to take to work with you in the morning, so you don't have to stop at home before going to the gym (because we all know how hard it is to leave again once you've been home).
-Have a support system in place. This could be a workout buddy, working with your partner to eat healthier together, or even hiring a personal trainer or coach (this type of thing is EXACTLY what I help my clients with 😉). Accountability and support will be absolutely KEY to you pushing through the hard times AND continuing when you inevitably fall off the wagon.
It's not the falling off the wagon that matters. It's how long you let it take for you to get back on.
So, take what you've read here and actually apply it. Don't just swipe, scroll, click to the next thing because your attention span is zapped and your brain is itching for a new topic. Actually take a few minutes to ponder on this. Having clear answers to these 3 questions will make it so this is the last new year's that you have to tell yourself "This year I'm finally getting my shit together!"
Here are some related blog posts that I think could be really helpful especially if you're just starting out on your fitness journey for the first time (or the 10th 😉):
How to Make Your Workout Routine Actually Stick- FREE workout included in this one!
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