How to Be Consistent as a Busy Woman in Your 30s & 40s

Does this sound familiar? You started that gym habit and kept it going strong for a couple of weeks, but then that one looong day at work had you craving your couch, so you skipped and went home. Ever since you haven't quite been able to find your flow at the gym again. Your willpower gave out and your self-discipline feels non-existent. You feel defeated. Again.

Today we're going to talk about how to break out of this cycle whether it's skipping work outs, eating like a trash can, or doom scrolling on your phone til 2 am.

This is the final entry of a 3 part series about creating a healthy lifestyle even as a busy woman in your 30s and beyond. You've learned how to figure out what you want and why, how to know what things might get in the way and what to do about them, and how to be real with yourself about your expectations. Now it comes down to this:

You need to know how to be consistent as a busy woman in your 30s & 40s.

Just so you know this has less to do with self-discipline or willpower than you probably think.

Are they involved at all? Of course! But if they're ALL you're relying on then it's going to be way harder to make the healthy changes you're trying to make. We're going to talk about how to not completely rely on self-discipline or willpower to be successful, but before we do let's actually break down what they are, so it all makes more sense.

When you talk about self-discipline and willpower what do your statements tend to sound like? Maybe something like this:

I don't have any willpower at all...

My self-discipline sucks

I have really strong willpower!... Until the cookies come out...

I have great self-discipline with some things...but not so much with others...

You may be wondering what the difference actually is between the two. Let's break it down.

Self-discipline is following through with the thing you said you would do even when you don't want to- over the long-term.

Willpower is the ability to notice when you're slipping and stop yourself, to delay gratification, to not let your emotions run away with your decision making and instead take action toward your goal anyways- in the moment.

Here's an important thing about willpower that you need to know as well- what you believe about willpower is true whether that belief is helpful or not.

This means that if you believe willpower is a limited resource that will run out, then you are correct.

If you believe willpower can be strengthened like a muscle so that it can become stronger, then you are correct.

It's a skill. And skills can be strengthened.

Self-discipline is doing the habit consistently over an extended amount of time.

Willpower is pushing through something really challenging in the moment.

Example:

Self-discipline is being consistent with a 3 day a week workout schedule as a habit over the last 6 months.

Using willpower is going to the gym even after a long day of work when you're really tired and really, really want to skip.

Now let's talk about how you can be consistent as a busy woman in your 30s and 40s trying to create a healthier lifestyle without solely relying on willpower and self-discipline.

1 Use the skills you already have to strengthen yourself in other areas

Here's what I mean by this: take a minute to consider those things that come easily- maybe it's drinking water or going to a workout class or packing your lunch- ask yourself what makes it easy to do them without having to worry about willpower.

For example, if you consistently make it to a workout class because you know you have a friend there waiting to meet you, then you could try meeting up with a friend to create your meal plan for the week or do meal prepping.

How might you use the skills you have to follow through with an easy habit to follow through with a habit that you're trying to lock in?

2 Set up your environment to support you

Making it as easy as possible to follow through with your healthy habits is the key to not draining your willpower or depending so much on self-discipline. Your environment can make you or break you.

Here are some examples of how you can create a supportive environment for yourself:

• Pack your gym bag and take it to work with you so you can go straight to the gym after work rather than having to run home first. We all know what ends up happening.

• Buy prepared fruits and veggies at the store so you'll be more likely to eat them since you won't have to wash and cut them yourself.

• Set up your bedroom so that it's relaxing and puts you into "sleep mode". The lighting level you prefer, cooler temperature, comfy jammies, and a clean space can go a long way to getting you some zzz's.

Whatever habit you are trying to follow through on take note of what tends to derail you and have a plan to get past it.

3 Have a support system and someone to keep you accountable

Surround yourself with successful people and people that have similar goals. If you continue to only be around those who follow the lifestyle you're trying to break free from it's going to be a lot harder for you. That doesn't mean you have to kick people out of your life, just make sure you have people living the lifestyle you want to live around you, too. The ones who are for you will rise up with you, those who don't will fall away.

A common thing women run into is wanting to make healthy changes, but their partner doesn't. Then they automatically feel defeated because they don't want to have to always make two meals or buy all different groceries or some other thing. This is where communication is key. Let your partner know what you're trying to do and how they can support you even if they don't want to make changes to their own health. How can you make meals just a little bit healthier? How can you add more healthy groceries without necessarily taking things away? Remember it's a process! It will take time! And you could inspire your partner to start making changes too!

When building your support system make sure there is someone to help keep you accountable. This accountability should include regular check ins of some kind to be effective. Not just your friend asking you if you worked out sometime during the month. Make it happen with a specific person at a consistent time at least once a week about a specific habit you're trying to nail down. It could be having a chat with your best friend on Tuesdays at 7 pm about how your workouts have been going. (Hiring a coach or personal trainer is great for this type of thing 😉)

You can try to make healthy changes all on your own, but having support and accountability will get you there faster.

To pull this all together...

• you know what you want and why

• you have an understanding of what could get in the way, what to do about it, and how to manage your expectations

• you know what to do to follow through consistently without depending solely on self-discipline or willpower

Keep in mind that this is a process of becoming the woman that works out, eats healthy, sleeps well, and practices self-care without guilt. It is a state of being. Not simply a finish line. It is who you are.

This is exactly what I help women with in my online fitness coaching program. If you're tired of feeling defeated and stuck in the same cycle of start and stop and you're ready to commit to the process of becoming the woman who lives a healthy life, feels strong, and is confident and comfortable in her body, then send me an email at janna@jl-wellness.com.

Find the first two parts of this 3 part series here:

How to Motivate Yourself as a Busy Woman in Your 30s & 40s

Finding Time for Healthy Habits as a Busy Woman in Your 30s & 40s