If you make it all the way through this list I can guarantee you that you'll come across something that you needed to read- whether you like it or not.
This is 32 things I've learned in 32 years.
I wrote one of these when I turned 30, but I feel like I've accumulated a lot of knowledge and experiences in the last couple of years so here it goes...
1-Get past the fear of being alone-so many people make decisions that are not for their greatest good, but rather to support and enable their weakness. Being alone is hard. Alone time and being alone are two different things. But when you give yourself the space to be alone you start to understand yourself better and grow as an individual. You'll be surprised to find how strong you actually are on your own. Plus you could potentially avoid the next point...
2-Don't settle-Don't settle because it's "good enough" or you don't think you deserve any better or because someone is telling you how good you have it. If what you have isn't what you really want and need to thrive as a human- then let it go. You will be so glad and grateful you did.
3-Have the hard conversation- In the past I've been the one to hold things in, to ruminate, to just let the little things that bother me go. In the long run, this hasn't been good because everything built up and eventually blew up in my face. Avoiding the hard conversations creates more problems. Woman or man up and talk to whomever you need to talk to.
4-Be careful who you word vomit on- two things to look out for when you confide in someone and tell them all your life things...are other people finding out about it that shouldn't? If yes, no more talks with that person. Are they always on the receiving end, but never want to share any of their things with you to create a true connection? If so, stop spilling your guts. To go along with this...
5-Be willing to be the word vomit receiver- don't always unload on someone unless you're willing to be there for them too. That's just how true friendship should work. And if they start unloading on you make sure to not somehow turn it back around to your stuff. LISTEN.
6-All emotions are valid- and if someone tries to tell you that "you don't have the right to feel any type of way" feel free to tell them to go f*ck themselves 🙂 It's how you handle those emotions and the actions that you take that matters. To piggy back off of that...
7-Let yourself feel the damn feels!- I really suck at this one, but I'm trying to be better. Emotions ALWAYS find a way out whether you want them to or not. You're better off letting yourself sit with it and process it to understand the feeling better. Things you could ask yourself: why am I feeling this?, what set me off?, where was I when I started feeling this way?, who was I with? has how I've been dealing with it helped or hindered me? what could I do to support myself better in these moments?
8-There's a difference between ego love and authentic love- see below
9-Invest in yourself- for the love of all the puppies and tacos in the world INVEST IN YOURSELF! Spend money on things that will help you grow, that will set you up for a better future, or that will get you super cool, mind opening experiences (I'm not referring to drugs here-but to each their own).
10-Don't be too prideful/afraid/cheap to ask for help- everyone needs help at one time or another. Needing help doesn't make you weak or somehow less than. Most likely whatever you are trying to get done will happen in a more effective and efficient way. People have jobs to do things FOR YOU so that you don't have to spend the time, years of education, or thousands of dollars doing it all yourself.
11-Be authentic- This is hard on social media these days. Every day I'm on there I'm questioning whether I should be doing things like other people do so maybe I could be more successful. But. What they do doesn't necessarily resonate with me and people can sniff inauthentic bullshit 10 miles away. When you are REAL those who resonate with you and need your light will find you because you will be SHINING IN YOUR AUTHENTICITY.
12-Do food tracking at least once in your life- It doesn't have to be for a long time- even just a week or two can be really eye-opening. This is simply to increase your awareness around how much (or little) you eat and what the foods you eat are actually composed of as far as macros, vitamins, minerals, fiber, and all the added in stuff goes. It could blow your mind.
13-You probably need to see a therapist- I really believe that literally everyone could benefit from seeing a therapist at certain times of life. It's been hugely beneficial for my growth and functioning as a human. You go to a doctor for your body when necessary...why wouldn't you see one for your mind as well? Seeing a therapist does not make you crazy, weak, feeble-minded, or any other negative type of thing you can come up with. It is simply self-care. Which leads me to my next point...
14-Practice self-care unapologetically- self-care is not selfish. Self-care is NOT selfish. SELF-CARE IS NOT SELFISH. Self-care is ESSENTIAL for everyone. This means taking care of your needs physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually. You are beneath no one. Literally no one. Typically where people need to do work first when it comes to adding self-care into their life is...
15-Set boundaries- Firm boundaries. This could be really challenging at first, especially if you're a people pleaser and tell people "yes" all of the time regardless of how much you don't want to or are inconvenienced. You don't need to explain your boundaries, either. I used to be really bad about this when it came to scheduling my clients. I'd literally schedule whenever worked best for them regardless of how it affected me and my day. No more. Because when I'm not doing well I can't show up for them (or anyone else for that matter) like I need and want to.
16-The scale fluctuates- Every day. Throughout the day. It's really not worth freaking out over. It takes overeating 3500 calories to gain a pound of fat. Eating ABOVE what your body needs each day. So if you're consistently eating 500+ calories over what you need-yeah you could gain a pound of fat or more in a week. This DOES NOT happen over night. Don't forget there are several other ways to track progress. And the scale is a small data point that doesn't even come close to telling the story of how amazing you are. YES I'M TALKING TO YOU.
17-How you speak to yourself matters- If you talk shit to yourself (ie I'm ugly, I'm dumb, I'm a burden, I'm weak, I can't ever follow through so I suck at life, I can't, etc.) you're gonna feel pretty shitty and hold yourself back. Take a step back and consider where those statements came from. It most likely wasn't you. It could be years of your mom telling you that you're too much or your dad repeatedly shaming you for a bad grade or your friend telling you that you're fat. Those aren't your own thoughts. You accepted them because you heard them too many times. This means you can change the narrative by speaking positive and empowering statements over and over to create a new story for yourself. And if people are talking in ways that pull you down-get new people (Hey I'm here!). This could go back to the boundaries point above.
18-Meditation is NOT stopping yourself from thinking & anyone can do it- literally anyone. The point is to strengthen your focus, just like lifting weights in the gym, every time you become aware of your thoughts squirreling on you. Don't be mad about it. Just refocus for 2 seconds until you squirrel again. You'll find over time that 2 seconds will extend to 3, 4, 10, 20, and so on. One of the meditation teachers I follow has ADHD so, yes, even those who have that or ADD, can learn to meditate.
19-Walking is underrated- It's truly good for so many things. Improving cardiovascular health. Weight loss. Improving mood. Distancing yourself from people trying to dim your shine. Helping you get to people that will magnify your shine. Getting you some time outdoors soaking up the naturey things. Improving your mental wellness. And more.
20-Eat your fiber- if you have problems with things on the back end consider getting your fiber intake up to 25g minimum per day. I've seen people go straight to meds and get nowhere and then finally found some relief by improving their fiber intake as well as...
21-Drink water!- this will also help with the back end issues. Along with just feeling better. Potentially eating less (because sometimes being thirsty feels like a hunger craving and if you're drinking water you're probably drinking less higher calorie drinks). Your body just functions better when you give it enough water. Get a little crazy and try drinking 100 oz of water per day for a week and see how ya feel (and be prepared to pee all the time).
22-Do things that scare you a little bit- For me this was driving by myself 16 hours straight to Florida for a business retreat to hang out with women, most of which I didn't know in person, for 5 days. It was a huge growth experience for me and basically launched me out of my comfort zone. On the other side of discomfort is growth. Go get uncomfy.
23- Go hike- It's good for the mind, body, and soul. All different types of weather. At least once. It's totally worth it!
24- Read books- they make you smarter, open your brain box to new possibilities, and get you off of social media for a bit (which is really good for your well-being)
25- When you feel your brain melting it's time to take a break- I have the tendency to ignore this warning sign from my body and try to push through what I'm doing. The results are always sub par. If I take a break and come back to it I'm always more happy with the end result.
26- Share your story- Other people may use it as the "how to guide" to getting through whatever challenge they are facing right now. They may not give up because of you. Let your light shine.
27- Take ownership- Your current situation is the result of your past decisions and actions. Stop blaming your past, your childhood, other people, and playing the victim. Woman or man up and take ownership because that's the only way you'll be able to move forward. There is POWER behind taking ownership. The power to change, to grow, to become more. With that being said...
28-Take the time to heal- so many people need to heal from things-from their childhood, past relationships, situations out of their control, etc. It's your responsibility to figure out what you need to do to heal. It's also key that you show others understanding when they act a certain way because they've not yet healed. That being said...
29-Don't take shit from anyone- regardless of what they may have done for you, where they are in their healing journey, or whether or not they are aware of their toxic behaviors. This goes back to the self-care and boundaries points. Don't dim yourself to match someone else's lower vibration. If they're trying to make you fit a mold to fit their needs because they haven't dealt with, or perhaps even refuse to acknowledge, their own shit, it's time to remove yourself from the situation.
30- Forbidden fruit is forbidden for a reason- once you get a bite it'll end up tasting really bitter. And it's not as good as you blew it up to be in your head. LET GO.
31- Don't hardcore restrict yourself when it comes to food- you'll end up either going off the deep end or being miserable. Instead find balance. Otherwise you give food way too much power of you. YOU are the powerful one. DON'T GIVE AWAY YOUR POWER.
32-People don't seem to like to read as much any more-so thank you for reading🙂 If anything stuck out to you please let me know in the comments below!
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