All or Nothing Thinking Is Keeping You Stuck

Let me paint a picture for you...

It's 5:30 pm and you're just leaving work. With traffic you know you won't make it to the gym until 6:00 pm and that would cut your workout window to 30 minutes. Not worth it, you tell yourself and head home instead.

The same thing happens a few days in a row and next thing ya know it's been 2 weeks since you've worked out. At all. And you can tell.

You feel sluggish and haven't been sleeping as well. You find yourself reaching for coffee more often each day. And you feel guilty every time you pass the gym. You didn't keep up your perfect streak and you didn't have the 60 minutes that your workout requires so you just gave up. You know you'll start again, but you gotta simmer in guilt a little longer first. Besides that new show you've been watching on Netflix is really good. You're going to ignore the fact that you've been up til midnight the last 3 nights watching it.

A perfect example of how all or nothing thinking is keeping you stuck.

Here are some other ways that you'll see all or nothing thinking pop up:

Trying to improve your diet by cutting out "bad" foods all at once
Eating something that's on your forbidden food list so you give up and eat like a trash can the rest of the week
Not starting your wellness journey because you can't change everything right now
Trying to stop a bad habit all at once, like cutting out all TV or social media, regardless of the fact that you're quads deep in it
Creating the "perfect" morning routine then completely throwing it out when you can't follow it to a T
Ignoring the fact that you've lost 5 pounds because you haven't lost the 50 that you're aiming for
Only using the scale as a frame of reference for success while ignoring increases in strength, endurance, and clothes that fit better

The list goes on and on. Did any of those resonate with you? I bet more than one did.

I didn't think I struggled with all or nothing thinking too much until I did some deep self-reflection and realized...OPE... I do. And I have struggled in different ways over the years:

I'd skip the gym because I didn't feel like I had enough time to do my whole workout
I'd watch another episode cuz heck it! It's already 1 am!
I haven't created things in my business because I want them to be perfect right off the bat (obviously so unrealistic)

The issue with all or nothing thinking is that it presents things as either/or, this or that, black and white, but in most cases, it isn't that simple, or it just plain doesn't make sense.

Most things are on a spectrum. And accepting this will bring you more success.

Here's the thing: you want what you want RIGHT NOW and that's why you're trying to make these big changes and be perfect. Well, chickadee, here's a little smackaroo of reality...

YOU are the reason you're stuck.

If you'd accept the fact that you have to give it time, then you can have what you want.

Because every time you try to be perfect, and inevitably fail and give up, you just add another day to the number of days it will take to get to your goal.

Sorry. Not Sorry.

So how do we break free from this?

Here are 3 simple steps to break free from all or nothing thinking:

1 Have mental flexibility

Understand that things are on a spectrum and that even 30% some days is still winning because it's a lot more than 0%. Going to the gym and doing what you could in the 30 minutes you had would still have been beneficial for your mind and body. Plus, it would have helped you keep the habit of going to the gym consistently.

2 Allow imperfection

Your incessant need to be perfect is causing you to be even more imperfect because you get stuck in the stop/start cycle like in the example above. If you'd allow yourself to be imperfect sometimes, then you're still moving forward. It's 1 step forward over and over and over. Rather than 2 steps forward and 3 steps back over and over and over.

3 Show yourself compassion and get curious

When you are less than perfect approach it with compassion and curiosity so you can figure out what exactly caused you to not follow through and then make changes so that you can move forward. In the above example you could see that an alternative would be simply to do a shorter work out whether it's having a backup designed to be only 30 minutes or simply reducing the amount of sets you do for each exercise in your normal workout. The solution typically isn't that complicated if we can allow ourselves to be mentally flexible.

You HAVE to let go of perfection.

You HAVE to let go of it's either this or that.

You HAVE to let go of it being black or white.

Otherwise, you will be stuck where you are for a loooong time.

Allow yourself to LET GO.

If this is something that you struggle with and you're wanting to actually keep up your gym and other wellness habits with a bonus of reduced anxiety and stress, then send "SNAP Method" to janna@jl-wellness.com and I'll give you info on how I can help you break free from all or nothing thinking and be more fit, calm, and in control of your life.