I sat back in my chair, which was surprisingly comfortable despite it’s metal design , and took in a deep breath soaking up the moment. I listened to the stream bubbling over the rocks below that almost 100% successfully blocked out the noise of traffic on the road nearby. We were in our own little nook surrounded by trees covered in crawling green vines that had an almost rainforest type feel. It felt good to just sit- no expectations, nowhere to be, no time clock to be aware of. The stress and anxiety that I normally feel was minimized.
“I feel like we’ve been here for a long time,” I said to my boyfriend as I did some math in my head, “but it’s not even been two days since we got here.” He nodded in agreement. It was weird, in a good way, to be able to truly let go.
It got me thinking about how I’ve said so many times, more so as I get older, that time just keeps going faster and faster. Yet here we were on vacation for a few days and time had slowed down.
It clicked in my head that the reason time seems to go so fast is because we make ourselves so busy ALL the time. We have to be at this place, at this time, which will cut it close to make it to the next place in time, but we schedule it because we tell ourselves we have to- whether or not we actually do is a whole other debate. Then we squeeze in a quick bite to eat as we travel from one place to the next. By the time we get home in the evening we feel like mush and have zero energy to do anything else. So, laundry remains in the basket, dishes in the sink, and workout undone. Then usually it just becomes about repeating it all the next day and berating ourselves for, yet again, not getting things done. It's no wonder stress and anxiety levels are so high.
On top of that, we're just counting away the hours each day waiting for our next day off so we can let go and chill for a little bit. The annoying thing is, once we have some down time, we end up giving some of it away to thinking about how it’s gonna be short lived and it all starts over again soon. How are we supposed to reduce our stress and anxiety when we won't let ourselves let go of the things causing them in the first place?
It’s a really unhelpful cycle. Wishing away the hours up to the time we can have a day off. Giving away our time off thinking about how we have to get back to the "real world" again soon.
It's said we need to learn to be in the moment, to notice the here and now and appreciate it for what it is, but it can be hard when there are so many things pulling at us and feeling the constant need to be productive.
Who decided running ourselves into the ground was essential to living a good life?
When did sitting down and doing absolutely nothing (not even on our phones), but just being with ourselves or each other become a bad thing? Like somehow we're wasting time?
We could get into the demands of society and how, for a lot of people, it's become more about survival these days. And when we're in survival mode we're less creative, less able to rest, less able to give ourselves the compassion that we need while we're simultaneously more anxious, more stressed, and more exhausted. We look for what will speed things up- quick fixes, fast food, less sleep-so we can get to the next thing faster so we can just pay our bills.
The thing is if we spend time with ourselves then we get to know ourselves better, we are able to work through healing the parts of us that need healed, and we become more aware and intelligent.
And that makes us more empowered.
When we're more empowered it becomes less about just surviving and more about thriving.
It just became so glaringly obvious to me sitting on that balcony down in the Smoky Mountains that it IS possible to be in the moment and slow down. And, for the most part, I'm the one making time go by so fast. So here are some ways I'm intentionally trying to "slow time down" and be more in the moment so my life doesn't pass me by:
I'm planning ahead so I can let go. I get my schedule for the next week clear and plan tasks to be done at certain times so I don't need to obsess over when I'm going to get them done because I already know when I'm going to get them done.
I note how long tasks actually take and plan accordingly. I can sometimes build things up in my head and think I don't have enough time when really I do. I can get to the gym, workout, and back home in 1 hour. I can get the laundry folded in 15 minutes. It only takes 20 minutes to make myself dinner. Half the time the thinking about the task and avoiding doing it takes up way more time than the actual task itself does.
I'm working to simplify my schedule. I have the tendency to overschedule myself or try to shove too much into one day which ends up making me run around like a crazy person and leaves me exhausted at the end of my day.
When it's time to let go that's what I actually do. Whether I'm doing something for fun or resting, when I've done the things above I have an easier time letting go because I know I already have it all handled. It'll be there waiting for me when I'm ready. And I'll do it all better because I took time to refill my cup.
Perhaps some of these could be helpful to you. Just keep in mind it's an intentional process. And you have to be real and honest with yourself. Some questions to ask yourself:
👉 What do you ACTUALLY need to do and what things are you doing because of societal expectations or what you think others are expecting of you?
👉 How much time are you actually wasting by avoiding or overthinking about a certain task? And how can you change that?
👉 What boundaries do you need to set for others, and yourself, so that you can have time to truly let go and refill your cup?
Rest and time for yourself IS productive and well help reduce your stress and anxiety. It. Is. NOT. Selfish. Get more of your time back by allowing yourself to let go without guilt.
Your worth is not dictated by how productive you are.
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